She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize