: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize