You smell like stripper and shame
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
