closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
