I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
