I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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