You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
