then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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