I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
