I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
