Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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