Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
