Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.

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(210): View more from Texas

I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.

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(714): View more from California

He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel

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(406): View more from Montana

Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.

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(248): View more from Michigan

How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?

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(519): View more from Ontario

Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"

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