So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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