youre lurking in front of me
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She's the barista slut.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
