is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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