She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
