Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
