Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
