yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
