sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
