summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
