i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
