pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize