Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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