I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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