i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
this hospital has no fireball
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
