My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
