The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
