Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
