I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
