We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We named our party play list daddy issues
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize