My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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