So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
