I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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