I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
