Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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