we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize