i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
