It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
