Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
