I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize