the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
