Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
