you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
