i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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