So drunk its hurt
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
