He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
