Yo dont text me then not text me
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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