Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Farmville is her only friend.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
