are you still at the devil's house?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
