you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
