I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize