I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
