The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
