sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
