i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
