There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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