my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
