she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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