i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
