so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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