you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
