it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
